Bad

Dress/ Jet rag, Shoes/ Sun Thrift, Sweater/ Burbank Vintage

$up,
Scatterbrain is becoming a common occurrence in my life. I am getting so many ideas/ obligations thrown at me every hour and I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. At the same time I don't even know what I do. That sounds so strange, but I feel like I have all this stuff to do, but then I don't know how to go about doing it or something and then I have cool ideas of stuff I want to do, but with all my work it seems like the things I want to do are out of reach. It's an interesting feeling though, I'm learning to deal with it.

Music-lolz



Photos by Rachel Dunlop.

Lord O-Mighty You Betta Smile

Top/ O-Mighty, Dress/ Thrifted, Shoes/ Unif, Jacket/ East End Vintage.

$up,
So the reality of this post (and most likely the next one) is it was fucking cold outside. The things we do for fashion.. I know I have been complaining about this for the past couple of posts, but just so you know that I am being serious:
Okay, so it's in celsius, so it's actually around 30 degrees, but I am from southern california! I am FREEZING!

I have had very little time lately because school has really gotten complicated in the past two weeks after a month or so of literally doing nothing. It kind of snuck up on me. A friend and I went to camden to take these pictures over the weekend.

I haven't done to much exploring in that area besides going to the camden market and the little retail shops around there and neither has she, so we thought we would give it a go. We did really venture that much past the market because we really weren't very sure where to go. We stopped to take some pictures at this mural. It looks so much cooler in the picture than it did in real life. It looks like there is chaos behind me when I think it was supposed to be a high way scene.

On our way back I got a crepe, and it was the messiest thing I think I have ever had to deal with. I have never had a hard time eating a crepe before, and trust me I know my way around a crepe, but this one was dysfunctional or something. It started leaking from the plate that it was on and then it got all over me. I thought I had fixed it by cleverly folding the plate and then the chocolate syrup started pouring from the middle of the plate and it wouldn't stop. Of course I was on the tube at this point covered in chocolate and getting weird looks from everyone. I couldn't help but laugh at how gross I was being, but I couldn't help it. I felt like I needed to take a shower. Some woman kindly offered me a tissue, and it helped for a little while, but then I used a plastic bag that I had gotten syrup all over and that did the trick. This was literally me trying to eat this crepe:

I think that's probably a good place to end, no?

Music- This song is a bit regressive in my musical evolution but I have always loved it. It's one of those songs that whenever I show it to someone they are kind of like... Are you serious?... Yes, I am very serious.




Photos by Rachel Dunlop.

Artist Spotlight: Francesca Jane Allen

I meant to post this last sunday, but time has really been escaping me lately. I found this artist through facebook actually. A friend from my past who I haven't seen in ages posted her website. I looked at her work and fell in love. I noticed that my friend had tagged her in the post which was piculiar to me. I clicked on her linked name and found out that she goes to a school within UAL. This was even more bizzar because my friend who posted the link lives in LA, but it was clear they knew each other. What a small world right?

Francesca is a really talented photographer who has done a lot of professional work with many fashion designers and magazines and she is still in Uni. From what I can tell this must be her last year at UAL. I really enjoy her work and I would love to someday shoot with her. Check out her website here, and her blog here.

Picture overload:
All pictures are from Francesca's blog or her website.

Green with Envy

$up,
The past couple of days have been filled with thoughts of confusion and denial. A couple of days ago I had a lecture on this personal essay that we are required to write and our tutor showed us this U shaped curve with emotions written on different places of the curve. She went on to explain that these are the feelings that you feel whenever something happens in your life. Not everything makes you feel that way, but I guess just big things that can really shock your system or smaller things that are hard for your mind to grasp. At the top of the left hand side of the U shape was labeled "shock" and just bellow that was "denial" followed by "confusion" and at the bottom of the U shape was "depression/a turning point". On the upswing of the U was "acceptance" followed by "experimentation" and at the top of the right side was "adjustment".

It was one of those weird experiences where you feel like your in the right place at the right time. I felt like I was learning stuff that was actually really relevant to what was happening in my life for the past week. I think since I have moved I have definitely experienced all of the left side of that U. I have not managed to break on through to the other side though. I have really positive days where I feel like things are going really well and I am starting to be alright with living here but then I have extreme lows in the following days which makes me wonder if I am actually being positive or if I am just in denial.
I know it sounds really over dramatic, and a little spoiled. I mean I am living in London and I am going to college here to study what I really want. That is such an incredible opportunity that not very many people get to take, and I am here taking it. Why do I feel so shitty?

I don't want to kid myself, I am having some struggles with a lot of aspects of life right now. School is pretty challenging, but that is just going to make me a stronger designer and artist. I think I am having more personal problems which a lot of people my age, or just people going to college are having. When you go to college it can be really difficult to meet people that you get on with. Friendship is a beautiful thing and I think we can all remember a time where we have had friends or being really close with certain people but memory makes it seem like friendship is something that is instantaneous and all though we would all like it to be that way, that is not the case. I have never had so much difficulty making friends before I moved here and I think that is something that is really hindering my experience in London which makes me sad.

I had the thought yesterday of giving up. I just couldn't really see the point because I was so unhappy and the loneliness was starting to eat away at me. I think being on your own is really powerful because you can find out a lot about yourself, but sometimes you might not like what you find out. Since I have moved here I have found myself second guessing my actions a lot more than I normally would and it has been... annoying. I have always had a really good idea of the kind of person I am and to have myself challenge everything I thought I knew is really unsettling.

Well... The first half of this was very depressing and maybe a little overly honest for the internet, but it was just something that I needed to get off my chest. I like it when people can see and understand one another's insecurities because it reminds us that we are all human. I am not ashamed that I have insecurities because I am a young woman and it's only natural. It really takes courage to admit when and why someone is sad and for whatever reason a lot of us are afraid to do this. Granted this is over the internet so it may be a lot easier to tell everyone whats going on, but even taking the step to tell people is saying something. I want to encourage everyone to acknowledge the hardships that they have and to not bottle up these feelings, because letting them out can bring so much relief and it can allow others to understand more about who you are. I think that is pretty important.

I have a feeling that things are really going to be changing sometime soon, in a good way. I have a lot of work coming in the next few weeks, but once it is finished or even just in the process, things are really going to be looking up.



So I dyed my hair green a couple of days ago. What do you all think? At first it was way to "electric" it made me feel a little uncomfortable, but it washed out a little bit and I actually think it's really cute.

The last thing I want to talk about it music. I was wondering what you (my readers) listen to. I have been in a rut with my music lately and I'd love to listen to some new stuff. Please send me your favorite stuff, I'd love to take a listen!

Parisian Ponytail

Pants/ Portabello Market, Shoes/ Etsy, Sweater/ Borrowed, Longer Sweater/ Burbank Vintage, Head Scarf/ Portabello Market

$up,
The past couple of weeks the weather in London has really taken a dive and it is only going to get worse... (insert worried emoji). It makes me look forward to going back home for winter break, and I was already really looking forward to it. It's actually really strange how much I am looking forward to winter break. I don't really remember feeling that way the last time I went away, but then again I guess I wasn't really that far to begin with.

I am so excited to see my family, I miss them dearly. I wish that I could come back for thanksgiving because it's my favorite holiday, but of course they don't celebrate that in England. A lot of English people don't even know what it is (or at least some of the ones that I have talked to). I don't blame them though, there are English holiday's that I have never herd of. One just passed actually. It was yesterday, it was a day to remember the day that Guy Fawkes almost blew up parliament. So there are fireworks and apparently the have a bonfire to burn a fake Guy Fawkes. It's pretty interesting, but I had to much work to really participate in it.

That was a really random tangent.. Back to what I was saying..

My family. I cannot wait to see my mom and my brother and my dad. I can't wait to get special mom hugs. That's something that is really lacking in my life right now, the hug. I think it's something that a lot of us don't really do very much anymore and it's something that is really taken for granted. We should never underestimate the power of a hug. It can easily make everyone feel so much better. Ahh I can't wait to feel the love of my family. I think that's the thing I am looking forward to the most. Not Christmas, not seeing my friends, not the weather but just that love.

Music- Caged Animals- Girls on Medication

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Halloweenier

$up,
I'm sorry for not writing the past week. I was planning to post this the day after Halloween but I was in Paris and I didn't have access to the internet. That kind of threw off my blogging, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I went to Paris this past weekend to go to the Pitchfork concert with my really good friend from High School. She is studying abroad in Rome with one of her friends from college, and her best friend is studying in Florence, so we all decided to meet up for this show. The highlight of the weekend was seeing Disclosure Friday night. I love disclosure (As I am sure you can tell) and I was expecting them to be really good live, but I was not expecting them to blow my mind. They swept me off my feet. If you ever have the opportunity to see them, take it with no hesitation.

Coming back from Paris I feel like I missed so much, and I have so much I need to catch up on. How was your Halloween? As you can tell I went as 'The Girl With The Pearl Earring' and it was a hit. People came up to me off the street and told me how original they thought my outfit was and how much they liked it. It was very flattering. I was going to go to this club called the nest on halloween with some friends, but at the last minute a friend and I went to a bar in central London. It was interesting, but my friend and I left after 30 minutes. Mainly because it was getting really late and I had to go to Paris in the morning, so I needed my sleep. It took us ages to get back home, but we ran into some interesting people on the way home and had a lovely conversation with a man and women who were probably about 27. They were basically giving us life advise, which I usually hate, but I thought it was pretty useful. I guess all and all halloween wasn't very eventful, it doesn't really compare to Halloween in LA, but I guess I knew that going into it.

Music-In honor of the Pitchfork festival, I wanna post some disclosure <3