Circles

Shirt/ Unif, Shoes/ Demonia, Slip/ Thrifted

$up,
So I was going to upload some pictures of me in Camden Town, but my sim card decided to delete the pictures.. So I guess I will just upload the last pictures from Salvation Mountain. My past week has really been an emotional roller coaster, and I haven't really been quite sure how to handle it. One second I feel really good about everything and the next I am super sad and I can't see anything positive. There has been a huge amount of change since I have moved. I don't really remember my first go at college being the same way. There is a lot of stuff I would rather not write down because this is the internet and it can get a bit icky if I get too personal, but I can just be honest. Since I have moved I have really been questioning myself and who I am. I know I still want to make shoes, don't get me wrong (That will never change), but I feel as though I am in between styles and it doesn't make me feel good. I know that sounds stupid because it doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it actually is. The way I see it is my style even though it changes frequently is the only constant in my world full of change. I always feel good about myself because I always like what I wear or the way my hair is, but since I have moved, I haven't liked either one. That is really off putting to me and it is kind of throwing me off and making me upset. I dyed my hair purple, but it came out fuschia, and it's just way to bright, I really don't like it! However I'm just going to have to deal with it, I guess. No matter how I look at this it is entirely superficial, but I think it's important to feel good about yourself, because that reflects everything else you do. If you feel shitty it lowers your ability to do the things that you love. When you feel good, you attract the right kind of people in to your life, and the right kind of opportunities. This blog post makes it seem like its all bad here, but truthfully, I like it a lot, I just haven't found my footing yet. I know that soon enough I will, and I will find the perfect friends and I will be doing really great in school. It's just the waiting I guess thats bumming me out.

My dad has been visiting me this past week, and it has really been great, I love that he is here. I haven't really been able to make any friends yet though because I am spending so much time with my dad, but they are going to be here all year and I will have plenty of opportunities to get to know everyone. My dad is only here one more day, and I don't think he'll be coming back up for a couple of years, so I don't care that I am spending all my time with him. Also we are super close, so I love to spend time with him. He knows London pretty well, for someone that has never lived here before, so he has been showing me around a lot. It's been really fun, but I know when he leaves I am going to be sad again, but I think it's something I will be able to handle. Thank god for Skype. I would be loosing my mind if I didn't have it.

Music- Blur, Park Life. I went to an Old School Indie club in London last weekend. It was really fun, but they didn't just play indie music, they played a lot of The Cure, Blondie, brit pop from the 70s and 80s, Joy Division and then Indie music from like 2005 and such. It was a really interesting mix of music, and it was totally up my alley. The people at the club were pretty dorky, but its a fun place to drink and dance, and it's pretty close to where I live. They played this song, and I fell in love with it.

Far Far Away

Dress- Sway Chic, Shoes-Jeffrey Campbell, Shall- Sun Thrift, Umbrella/ Coachella Music Festival

$up,
So even though I am posting pictures from Salvation Mountain, I am not in America anymore. I moved to London yesterday. I have really only been here a little over a day, but I am really not loving it. I had a really horrible flight in, my anxiety led me to have a really bad panic attack on the plane and when I actually got to my dorm. I felt really bad, and I couldn't eat because every time I tried I felt like I was going to throw up, up until a little while ago. I went to the doctors today and he couldn't really do much for me except give me advice because I have really only been here for a day. He told me to take it easy and eat some food that I can stomach and talk to people in my dorm because odds are we are all going through very similar things. On the way to the doctors I met a girl on the bus who told me to let life lead and for me not to try and control it. She told me to be more positive because then more positive things will come my way. It makes sense and that is how I used to live my life. I think when you are in a dark place it seems near to impossible to change your thinking. I am home sick, that is for sure, but I am feeling a little bit better than I was yesterday, and apparently it will keep getting better. I think as the weeks press on, I'll slowly start to love London, or even just like it.

Music- I don't really know what to post. Right now music isn't making me feel good and it usually does.. I suppose you could never go wrong with some Daft Punk, Make Love.